These fleeting moments before Kindergarten seem to move so much faster than any other moments before them.
I find myself crying over the silliest things, like how beautiful she looks in these pictures or how tiny her shoes. My husband has even paused to ask if I might be pregnant since my emotions are running so hot right now.
But I know in my heart how things change when they go to Kindergarten. I remember screaming to myself “Wait! She can’t go yet! I have more to teach her!” when my oldest hit this bittersweet milestone. And while I know she has to grow up and we’ll get through it, I’m savoring every minute like it’s the last.
Even though the kitchen is probably the place I’m least comfortable, I spend a lot of time there with her. She loves to cook and bake. She loves to crack eggs and coax the drippy insides into the bowl. She never gets shells in her eggs. How does she do that? She loves to pour and mix and stir. She loves it all. I hide my loathing of kitchen life pretty well, since her Mother’s Day card was a picture of me cooking in the kitchen. It said, “My mommy likes to…cook in the kitchen!”
Everyone knows I do not like to cook. We have had a good laugh over that Mother’s Day card. My Dad spotted it and said, “Uh, who made this?” with a skeptical look. “Who wrote you that insulting card?” my brother asked, knowing that I’d rather do any other household chore at both our houses before cooking dinner.
But to her, the kitchen is our place to be.
So, for Christmas I bought her a cookbook. She was four. I know. That sounds ridiculous, but I bought the book anyway. We have been cooking our way through that cookbook for a few months. She picks out the next project. I source all the materials, even obscure things like a sunglasses shaped cookie cutter.
On this day she picked the “Nerdy Owls” for making. Ever so delicately she placed the decorations, asking me for only a little help when it came to frosting. It wasn’t long ago that she sprinkled every sprinkle container onto one cupcake, with complete disregard to beauty, form, or skill. The sprinkles went everywhere and in everything. She had pink lips from her sprinkle tasting, but this time was different.
She was thoughtful, deliberate, careful, and precise. I suppose that is the difference between a preschooler and a Kindergartner.
To complete her creations, she carefully placed them on plates, asked for one final picture, and decided to eat just one.
She has grown so quickly and things have changed so fast. It is hard to weather these transitions. As a mom I rejoice in what is and grieve what was and I do that every. single. day. Some days I wonder if I am enough. But I know that I am. Of course I am. I am strong. I know I am because Motherhood is only for the strong.
Where does your child love to be? What room of the house do you find yourselves in together? Let’s shoot there! I can create a custom session just for you. Contact me and we can brainstorm together. 🙂